Archives for January 2014

1000 Words of Solitude

January 31, 2014 by costaricaguy 2 Comments

autoretrato en palabras

This is another post dredged from the not so ancient archives of the CRG blog.

I felt it appropriate to give the post a permanent place in this blog…even though it says little directly about the topic.

Why?

Because…before folks embark on the mysterious adventure of reading what I have to say, it’s good that they know exactly what they’re getting themselves into…

the things that often occupy my mind.

The first of 1000 words of solitude begins after the last dot…

I remember lying in bed feeling the weight of the world pinning me down. I guess this is a common feeling, but at the age of 9? It felt like a dream, but I wasn’t sleeping. Maybe it was an omen of things to come.

We moved every year. My father owned a real estate brokerage and he had a penchant for constantly selling the house out from under us. It’s not like we moved far, only to different points along the same island. Maybe that’s the genesis of my inherent restlessness.

The island was crawling with tourists in the summer months, but for the other nine it was practically a deserted place. I could ride my bike from one end to the other without seeing another soul, except the one policeman who patrolled up and down the road. Maybe that is why I grew up to be a loner.

I was often fearful. I didn’t really know what the next day would bring. Would there be violence today, or peace? It was fairly unpredictable.

I could spend hours on end at sea. Floating atop my surfboard and staring out into the horizon. One day while staring a giant monster leaped out of the depths. I never saw it again. I don’t know if it was a friend or foe…as I didn’t give it the time for an introduction.

I seemed to be at odds with normality. I never really cared to fit in. It seemed that doing so was to accept the world in its cruel and unforgiving state. I longed for something better.

I like to kid myself into thinking I am doer, but the reality of it is that I am the world’s biggest dreamer. Oh I can dream…really dream. But the execution part tends to exhaust or bore me. So I rarely ever get around to it.

Being a classic introvert, I am prone to constant bouts of morbid introspection. Trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. I guess that’s normal…or is it?

Holding down a job…that’s never been a strong suit. I suck at being an employee.

Here’s my advice to the world…don’t hire me!

It’s not that I am afraid, or unwilling, to work. It’s just I think too highly of myself to do it for anyone other than me.

I will admit that I often lapse into fantasy. With a view of the world that does not quite comport with reality. One in which people are actually nice to each other on more than simply a patronizing level.

I remember being a swashbuckling pirate. Me and my imaginary (or was it real?) friend would blaze trails through the jungles of tall myrtles in search of something…actually I don’t remember exactly what.

Maybe that sparked the lifelong yearning for adventure.

I remember on family road trips fantasizing that my arm extended to a ridiculously long and sharp blade that cut everything we passed in half…Jack Kerouac described the very same vision in On the Road. I believe we are kindred spirits.

I believe the tendency towards self-destruction is sewn into my genes. My deceased uncle was so-afflicted…as well as my father. But so far I remain semi-intact.

I have always had this strange feeling as if some hand of fate were guiding me. If that’s the case, it has a warped sense of humor since my path has been exceedingly erratic and pointless.

I am woefully co-dependent. I latch on to relationships, those with the opposite sex, hanging on for dear life. I tell myself it is love…but is it really?

I often have visions of being a modern-day Thoreau. But the difference is that I would have to hire out all the handy work.

Lately I have found a passion…writing. It is my way of figuring out things. I usually have no idea what the point of what I write is, until I finish. Today is certainly one of those instances.

I do desperately want to understand why I am here. I feel that there must be a reason…as pointless as my life has seemed to be until now.

I am afraid of criticism and long to be liked. Facebook really exacerbates that obsession.

I actually tried to be a lawyer once. Is there anything about me that is fit to that profession? I think not. I should have figured that out in my first year of law school…but have I mentioned above about my hard-headed-ness?

I have never physically harmed anyone and I am actually proud of that. But I have let many down. I am ashamed of that.

I often feel stuck…like the weight of something is holding me down. Maybe that was what the earlier omen foretold.

I do honestly want to help. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask me. I will try my best.

I always have these ticks of anxiety. I once gave into them, but now I resist them. But they make me want to rush the finish…to get to that 1000 words long before I really should. Right now is one of those times.

I am grateful that Costa Rica has accepted me. I fucked up miserably in that other place. And I was rejected for it. That’s understandable, but I prefer to remain in a more hospitable place.

I live in a paradoxical state of being both enamored with and fearful of uncertainty. My life is full of it…and it has been for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I wonder how I live with so much of it…I guess it’s my one and only real talent.

I often wonder what it would be like to have a perfect life. One in which everything seems to just work out. It appears there are some with such a life…or is that simply an illusion?

This has been a completely pointless post. John Kennedy Toole wrote a book like that.

He killed himself when no one read it…

And then it won a Pulitzer prize.

On Being an Idealist

January 30, 2014 by costaricaguy 1 Comment

Impact Mindfulness is an ideal and Revolutionary Misfits are idealists.

But it is not an ideology, nor are misfits ideologues.

So, what’s the difference?

Today I get to be lazy (again) by reaching way back into the CRG archives to pull out a post on being an idealist versus an ideologue.

Let me know what you think…

Idealist or Ideologue?

I have, on rare occasion, been accused of being a conservative. I guess that’s because I have, again on rare occasion, agreed with “conservative” ideals.

But then at other times, I can be found agreeing with “liberal” ideals.

This morning I find myself asking…myself…this question, what exactly do I believe?

That has me thinking about ideals, because I consider myself to be an “idealist,”…

but not an “ideologue.”

And there is a big difference.

Websters defines idealist as one guided by ideals; especially one that places ideals before practical considerations.

Ideologue, on the other hand is defined as an often blindly partisan advocate or adherent of a particular ideology.

I like to think of myself as an idealist who believes that there is a spark of good that can be found in every human being. At times that spark can be snuffed out or suffocated by the events of one’s life, but it is there and under the right circumstances can ignite and even turn into an unquenchable flame.

I guess I am a conservative as well, but only in the sense that I believe in the conservation of human life and of our planet, regardless of the perceived “costs” of doing so.

But let me get back to this idealist versus ideologue dichotomy.

Below are ten distinctions that separate the idealist from the ideologue…

An idealist gives people the freedom to believe what they believe without passing judgment. An ideologue condemns any belief that is not consistent with his or her own.
An idealist sees the potential for good in people. An ideologue believes that the capacity for doing good only exists when one marches in lockstep with the ideology.
An idealist believes that every human being has the right to find their own happiness. An ideologue believes that happiness only exists within the confines of adherence to the ideology.
An idealist believes that there should be a “level playing field,” i.e., equal opportunity for all people. An ideologue believes that there should be a level playing field only for those that are “on their ideological team.”
An idealist understands that people do what they do for a reason and that it is best to try to understand that reason, rather than pass judgment on it. An ideologue believes that any action taken contrary to their ideology is stupid, immoral, or wrong and should be roundly condemned.
An idealist, for the most part, takes a positive view of life and life’s circumstances. An ideologue believes that all life’s events that they perceive as “bad” are just consequences of non-adherence to the ideology.
An idealist believes that every person has the capacity to make a difference. An ideologue believes that outside the ideology people only have the capacity to screw up.
An idealist believes that the world can be a better place. An ideologue believes that the world is going to hell in a hand-basket as a consequence of non-adherence to the ideology.
An idealist, for the most part maintains a non-critical spirit and tries to uplift and support people, whatever ideals they may hold. An ideologue believes that non-adherents to the ideology should “get what’s coming to them.”
An idealist would never use violence or coercion in order to win converts to the ideals that he or she holds. An ideologue will.

I have written in the past about Che Guevara, the Marxist revolutionary. In the movie and in the book, The Motorcycle Diaries, the young Che was an idealist. He believed in a better world and that revolution was the means to achieve it.

Martin Luther King was also an idealist and a revolutionary. He too believed in a better world and that revolution was the means to achieve it.

The difference between the two is that Che picked up a weapon in the attempt to impose his ideals on others. In doing so, he passed from idealist to ideologue

Martin Luther King never made that transformation and the results he achieved, passively, surpass, at least in memory, those of Guevara’s.

Growing up in the fundamentalist Christian culture that predominates in the southern U.S., I often heard that any belief system contrary to an adherence to a literary interpretation of scripture was idolatry. That outside of that belief system, humans had no capacity for good whatsoever.

But doesn’t that defy logic?

Was Mohandas Gandhi a fundamentalist Christian? Did he not have the capacity for good?

There has been so much evil propagated in this world by ideologues. I would even go so far as to coin a new word that describes their warped brand of idealism, what I would call id-ea-olatry.

As for me, I will fight to the death, my own death that is, to propagate my brand of idealism, but I will never use a “weapon” (be it a bible or a gun) to coerce you to do the same.

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The Political Divide

January 29, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

I watched the SOTU address last night, well, at least as much of it as I could stay awake for.

I am an Obama fan. I route for him. Perhaps because he is the coolest President that I have lived to experience. Even cooler than Clinton. And he is our first black President. I got to experience his election, which to me was a remarkable event and sheds a ray of hope on everything else I am about to say.

But these speeches always seem more about pomp and circumstance than real substance. And honestly, last night was no different than the other 30 or 40 SOTU speeches I have heard in my lifetime…I guess the first I can remember would be one of Nixon’s (I was 14 when he waved goodbye and good riddance to the nation).

And then there is the aftermath…the opposing party’s response. And that is always the most laughable event of the night. I have never in my entire life heard a response that was favorable in any respect…never.

It would be sacrilegious for the response giver to actually say…I really enjoyed the President’s speech tonight and agree substantially with the majority of what he had to say.

Could you even imagine such a thing? It would be historic!

And the scientific unlikelihood of that ever occurring alludes to the topic of this post…

the political divide.

Where and when did this great divide originate? Anyone out there know??

Perhaps from a debate that took place long ago, around 1800, between Thomas Paine and Edmund Burke. It seems that their debate centered mainly around the topic of the French Revolution, with Paine adopting a pro-revolutionary stance and Burke taking sides with the French Aristocracy. That’s about all I will say about this until I delve deeper. But it is interesting to think that maybe this great divide actually had a beginning, somewhere.

But nevertheless this great divide between Right and Left is an ever present reality that constantly influences almost every facet of our lives. It is omnipresent in the media we consume, the conversations we engage in, even the air that we breathe.

It seems to come down to the role and efficacy of government in our lives…in society.

The right clamors for limited or no government. The left progressive or more government.

Who is right?

Perhaps neither. Both standpoints reveal inconsistencies, maybe even downright hypocrisy.

The right plays to the populist sentiment that all government is bad and all politicians corrupt…well, with the exception of the largest government program of all…the U.S. military budget. That one they are more than delighted to support and expand.

The left wants more government involvement in our lives…well, with the exception of anything that has to do with our private lives…that is sacred ground that must be left untouched…even at the expense of the unborn.

Is there by chance a middle ground where we can agree and things can actually get done?

Not a chance.

Why?

Because these political stances are rooted in ideology and ideology is the ultimate impact blinder.

We would rather pledge allegiance to ideology, than to real human progress.

Why?

Because the ideology gives us our identity. Sean Hannity could never agree with anything Obama could ever propose…even if it was substantially right of center. Because Hannity’s ideology compels him to disagree. He has built a career on it. As has Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck…the champions of right-wing ideology.

And of course the left has its own champions as well.

So the political divide lives on and grows. And threatens our republic.

What will close it?

I believe a change in mindset.

One that makes impact the impetus…not ideology. One in which human progress is not instantly labeled as “progressive.”

One in which people power is more important than political power.

But I won’t hold my breath.

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The One Percent Solution to Greed

January 28, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

I caught wind yesterday of the now infamous Tom Perkins letter to the Wall Street Journal.

Perkins is one of the founding partners of the venture capital firm, Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers.

He is also a billionaire…

And a proud card carrying and outspoken representative of the 1%’ers.

In the letter Perkins compared the “oppressive” government action of the Obama administration against growing income disparity in the U.S. represented by the amount of wealth concentrated in the hands of the 1%, with Nazi Germany’s oppression of a different 1%…the Jews.

According to Perkins “the rich” have now substituted for the Jews as victims of this Holocaust-ical oppression by Obama and his dependency class.

Many have already pointed out in response to Perkins that it was Obama who bailed Mr. Perkins and his cronies out of a real jam back in 2008…so I won’t go there in this post.

The facts stand for themselves.

But what I will do is dredge up some old CRG material that I wrote back when Occupy Wall Street was gaining traction and the idea of income disparity and the 1% were making bold headlines.

Hey, I don’t mean to get overly political in this blog about impact mindfulness. But remember, this is a revolution and the dictator we want to depose is greed.

I believe what Perkins was really saying is let “greed-om” reign.

We misfits disagree…vehemently, but for reasons that might surprise Mr. Perkins.

Read on…

Should There be a 1%?

The graph portrays an alarming picture.

The share of total income by the top 1% peaked in 1928 and 2007 at just shy of 25%.

Wow, does the graph really mean that 25% of all income earned in the U.S. went to that select slither of the population? Yelp, that’s what it means and, moreover, it shows that both high points were immediately succeeded by the dramatic low points of the “Great Depression” and the recent “Great Recession.”

Some would say, therefore, let’s do away with that 1% all together. Take away their great wealth and spread it around to us poor 99%’ers. Even out the playing field, as an uber-liberal might say.

I disagree.

After all, the fact of the 1%’s very existence should give the rest of us something to shoot for, to strive towards. It is that 1% who have achieved what Tony Robbins (who happens to be up there) would call “Absolute Financial Freedom.” That is, the ability not to have to work another day in one’s life and still have the wherewithal to do whatever you want, whenever you want and wherever you want.

That’s a pretty cool state of being. I could really dig some of that.

[I am being a bit facetious in that statement…as I don’t really believe reaching coveted 1% status will actually make you nor I “happy”, nor will such financially motivated action contribute to making the world a better place…]

Yea, the complete removal of money as a constraint upon the enjoyment of one’s life sounds pretty, well, enjoyable.

So, I believe that OWS should not be about denying the 1% their financial freedom. Some have actually earned it.

Rather a better objective would be to enhance the mobility of the rest of us to reach that level. And certainly to remove any government role in helping someone achieve 1% status, or maintain it, at the exclusion of all the rest of us.

And finally, it would help us to be less resentful of the 1% if they were a little more compassionate.

But wait a minute, doesn’t the 1% already shoulder their “fair share” of the burden (taxes)…doesn’t that prove their compassion?

Not by a long shot.

And the current Grover Norquist mandated pledge of no additional taxes to help our nation out of trouble, not even on those most able to afford them, proves the point.

I am not at the point in my political and philosophical evolution (and, boy, have I evolved) to say that capitalism is the culprit…that it is at the root of all the trouble in the world. However, I do believe that the brand of capitalism inspired by Grover Norquist IS…in large part.

Capitalism, or a view thereof, that prioritizes property (in impact mindfulness terms…self-interest) ahead of people and planet is not a good thing.

Property, or the rights to ownership thereof, should never be allowed such an honorable position…in my humble opinion.

I believe that is where my brand of capitalism departs dramatically from the mainstream.

There are only two ways to put a brake on capitalism run amok. That is by government mandate and by appealing to conscience.

The latter method is what this blog is all about. And I believe it is the most feasible and peaceful one percent solution to greed that has a chance at limiting capitalism’s darker attributes.

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On Love and Power

January 25, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

Since I am into the sustainability thing, I am not above “recycling” old material from time to time…especially when new ideas just don’t want to flow…

This morning is one of those times. But have no fear, I have 5 years worth of CRG material to borrow from.

Here’s an old post inspired, as often is the case, by a book…

Just finished reading The Blue Sweater by Jacqueline Novogratz. Novogratz is the founder of The Acumen Fund, which is a “charitable” venture capital fund. I know that sounds a bit oxymoronic, but her idea is to solicit charitable contributions which are then injected as capital into businesses that bring needed services to poor and developing countries.

The fund “invests” (either through equity or debt infusion) in these businesses. In her view this works better than just donating the money with no accountability attached and she has been proven right many times over. The book chronicles many of those successes.

Reading it I really felt like she was a “kindred spirit.” Many of her experiences I could relate deeply to as someone with an intense degree of capitalistic training who had his “ideals shaken” after spending a considerable amount of time in a developing country.

One of the things that really struck me was Jacqueline’s discussion, I believe in Chapter 8, about the need to combine both love and power in order to really make a difference in this world.

Quoting from Martin Luther King, Jacqueline writes…

Power without love is reckless and abusive, whereas love without power is sentimental and anemic.

A nice tasty morsel to sink your teeth into, eh?

This love and power idea got me thinking about the right balance between the two.

All too often we use our power only to enhance our position…to build our “castle of indifference and insulation.”

I guess it comes down to whether building your castle of indifference is more important that maximizing your potential to make a difference.

The right combination of love and power can greatly facilitate impact.

I like to think of it as a toolbox that contains both “hard” and “soft” tools.

“Hard” tools represent what may (in this harsh real world) give you a leg up over others, even if it is a hard and unfair reality that they do. Things like economic and social status, ethnicity, nationality, education, etc. Hard tools can be acquired, i.e., they are not always simply “born into.”

However, the fact that you might have been born white in the U.S.A. to a wealthy family and have had the privilege to attend the best schools does in fact give you a certain degree of power.

And as always, with that power comes responsibility.

So, the question then becomes, how will you use it?

Then there are “soft” tools, like your compassion, empathy, ability to feel and impart inspiration, eagerness to learn, to help, etc.

If your toolbox contains both hard and soft tools and, moreover, you have the willingness to make good use of them, then love and power can work together in impactful ways.

Novogratz definitely has a full toolbox and she has used those tools, and continues to use them, with a unique combination of love and power that is making a difference for countless people in remote and often forgotten regions of our world.

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The Matrix Revealed

January 22, 2014 by costaricaguy 1 Comment

The American Dream.

Is it real?

Are dreams ever?

Well, they may not be real, but I believe they do have meaning.

And often they are meant to warn us.

In the First World there exists this altered state of reality that feels so real as to supplant reality itself.

It is the economic reality that is the topic of many a good talkings to.

Son, the economic reality of things is this…you get you a good education, a good job, settle down with a good wife, have a family, keep your nose to the grindstone for 30 or so years, and then you can retire, play golf and spoil the grandkids…you can be me!

A cog in the machinery of first world progress.

So that’s pretty much what the majority of first worlders do.

It is a reality that largely revolves around and is fueled by economics, or money…

and comparison…

to that fictitious Jones family who seem to have it all, but who in reality…

don’t even exist.

Throw a monkey wrench into the works, like job loss, divorce, addiction, reckless risk taking that results in perceived economic failure and the wheels come off very easily.

I have some experience here.

The fragility of the dream is revealed. Dreams are always fragile since they tend to go poof when you wake up from them and can’t even remember much about them.

Time for another good talking to.

About how you just ain’t doing it right…according to the dream.

But wait a minute…let’s step back away from the fray and examine this so-called “reality.”

A reality based on economics? Is that really the one I want to adopt for myself? For my life?

Couldn’t there possibly be some alternative state of reality that might be a tad more fulfilling and a hell of lot less stressful?

Less fragile?

One that is really…real…for me.

Concrete, hard and durable.

Yes there can, but first you must wake up from this dream state…which in reality is a nightmare.

Open your eyes and shake off those cobwebs of collective first world consciousness.

See this reality for what it truly is. A broken place and largely broken due to the dream-like state that its inhabitants are scurrying around in…scurrying around to generate more and more of these little pictures of dead notables that can be exchanged for the dream life…the matrix revealed!

As in the movie, could there be some super intelligent machine-like being responsible for this reality?

No we are responsible. We created it.

And it is largely fueled by self-interest, greed, and indifference.

We created this vast network of functional and rejected cogs, both operating from a standpoint of self-interest.

And the rejected cog’s feigned sense of helplessness emanates just as much from self-interest as the greediest of the functional cogs.

Remove yourself from the matrix.

Become a misfit who adopts a different mindset.

Who refuses to take either the red or the blue pill.

You don’t need either one to see things for what they are.

Move up to a higher dimension…a higher plane of consciousness.

Living in the third world has been an eye opening experience for me. One that has introduced me to that altered state. One that has awakened me from the dream.

I no longer buy into the advice of my dad that I must be a cog in the machinery of first world progress.

That is not the key to happiness.

So, what is really real? Life in which impact is the impetus…not economics. That’s what the universe yearns for…not more cogs in the matrix.

Now, am I suggesting that the matrix of economic reality doesn’t exist?

Oh no, it exists alright.

We created it.

But I don’t for a second believe that it is the way the real and created reality of the universe is meant to be.

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Archives for January 2014

autoretrato en palabras

Idealist or Ideologue?

Should There be a 1%?

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