Costa Rica Guy

The Joys of Being an NRSP (non-Religious Spiritual Person)

August 8, 2014 by costaricaguy 6 Comments

As the world is tearing apart at the seams over competing religious viewpoints, I thought I would express the joys of being a sideliner NRSP…

So, here are 10 joys of being a non-Religious Spiritual Person (in random order…because that’s how we NRSP’s like our order)…

1. Lack of Guilt – Over things that religious people love to make you feel guilty about. Now, granted, some of these “things” might actually be bad for me, but I for one don’t like being “guilted” into doing only what other people think is good for me.

2. Open Mindedness (domestic issues) – I get to choose for myself things like who I might vote for, and what political viewpoint I prefer to get behind…without being pressured into towing the theo-political line…under the threat of potential excommunication.

3. Open Mindedness (international issues) – I get to see the world as it really is…a great big place full of people who might look, think and worship differently, but really are made of the same flesh and blood and have the same basic needs and wants…when you get right down to it.

4. Peace and Calm – I don’t feel that sense of outrage about the world not marching in lockstep with my ideology, which convinces (and terrifies) me that things are only going to get worse and to store up “provisions” in my backyard nuclear-holocaust-proof underground bunker.

5. Optimism – And #4 brings me to this one, being an NRSP allows me to hold an optimistic view of the world and the direction it’s headed in…because I believe in the commonality of humanity rather than a version of it that divides us all into warring ideological groups sequestered behind invisible and politically-contrived borders.

6. Reality – I get to look to science to give me a rational explanation of matter, rather than some fantastical fairy-tale story…oh, and I don’t even have to strain credulity to reconcile the two.

7. Love – I can love everyone, even those that don’t believe what I do…because I really believe very little at all and adhere to no dogma whatsoever. So, hatred doesn’t enter into the thought-stream, especially not that virulent strain known as “religious hatred.”

8. Being Wrong – I can be wrong and be perfectly happy about it…in other words, it won’t upset my entire world view because I maintain one that is open to, well, any truth that I happen to stumble upon.

9. Savings – I get to save all that money that my “pastor” would otherwise shame me into turning over to him. Or, I can use it to benefit people and planet as I choose, not as “the church” chooses.

10. Impact – I get to live my life shed of the Impact Blinder of religion that otherwise would influence my impact to be much narrower than it really ought to be. And, as you know, for me, that’s what life’s really all about!

This is not a call to indoctrination, only a suggestion.

NRSP’s as a rule do not proselytize!

Now, I know religious people will call me names…like atheist, hypocrite, agnostic, liberal, progressive, etc…

And that’s OK, I’m open to it!

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An Appeal for Peace in the Middle East

August 6, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

The other day I came across this on-air and online feud between Sean Hannity and Russell Brand.

Brand accused Hannity of being unreasonable in the way he treated a guest who was sympathetic to the Palestinian cause.

I agreed with Brand by posting his video and commenting about it to that effect on my Facebook profile.

That set off a string of comments, including a few by a young Jewish man from Tel Aviv.

The debate has been cordial and this morning I reviewed a couple of the videos posted by my new Israeli friend. Both took a hard-line view in support of recent Israeli action.

Both were from Prager University, an organization that advances a view of the world that is steeped in Judeo-Christian ideology.

And therein lies the problem, as I see it.

I am currently 53 years old and I cannot remember a time in my life when conflict did not exist in the Middle East. Perhaps what’s happening now is about as bad as I can remember, but it’s just more of the same old thing.

And old it is.

In fact, it goes back thousands of years…all the way back to a biblical character named Abraham, who, according to the Old Testament, was gifted this small piece of land by God himself.

Funny thing is, both groups (Muslims and Jews) trace their ancestry to this same guy!

So, it’s no wonder they are fighting over a piece of land that was once a god-given gift to their common forefather.

Remember the Parable of the Orange I recently posted…

“It’s mine!”, declared the warring siblings.

Check out this little animated video I came across that kinda captures the essence of this age-old continuous fight over a patch of dirt.

So, what’s really at the heart of this conflict?

Religion…pure and not so simple.

And what do I like to call religion in this blog?

An Impact Blinder!

Currently there is a great debate within the U.S. as to who is RIGHT and who is WRONG in the current stage of this age-old conflict…being played out before the eyes of the world.

For most, it appears that the establishment of fault is more important than an actual solution leading to peace.

And everyone points to the very complicated past, as well as the murky present facts about what might constitute a “human shield”, to establish their claim to rightness and moral superiority.

But what about the future?

Ah, you see, when religion enters into the picture, the future doesn’t really matter that much. At least not the one that will be occupied by the flesh and blood.

No, what’s more important is the moral superiority that will gain us a rightful place in the next world.

OK, great, if you want to believe that, or have faith in that, fine, go ahead.

But the very idea that one would be willing to kill in order to advance what is at its essence, a religiously-based position, is in my view, grossly immoral…

and highly threatening to People and Planet.

Here is my bottom line after you cut through all the smoke and rhetoric…

People are dying at the hands of people, innocent women and children (not to discount the lives of men)…

and over what?

Competing religious ideologies.

Why do we humans feel the need to inflict death and destruction upon ourselves over religion?

I don’t know for sure, but I would conjecture that when we identify with a certain religiously oriented group, either by natural birth or religious “re-birth”, we feel the need to be right about it.

And being right about it often means, no, usually means, proving that everyone else is wrong.

There have been many wars fought throughout human history to accomplish just that.

The Crusades come to mind.

And did they?

No!

What they did accomplish was a whole lot of death and destruction.

The cycle continues to this day and right now its focal point, once again, is that tiny strip of land called Israel…

Actually when it was established back in 1948 in its modern form, David Ben-Gurion declared it Eretz Israel.

Why “Eretz Israel?”

Because Eretz Yisrael is the Hebrew name for the Land of Israel given by God to Abraham.

You see, it all comes down to religion.

It all comes down to two groups, with a declared similar origin and somewhat similar monotheistic religious beliefs, claiming a hold on the truth…

Two groups willing to kill each other to advance an ideology.

That, my friends, is the quintessential essence of an Impact Blinder…

And in my opinion, it is wrong.

Peace is what’s important, not being religiously right.

I know folks will read this (well, I hope at least someone reads it…why else would I take the time to write it?) and say that I’m simply anti-religious.

No, I’m not suggesting that anyone abandon his or her religious faith…

But only to stop killing one another over it.

Doing that is not moral, nor right…it’s just plain evil.

We need more people to take off the Impact Blinder of religion and appeal for peace in the Middle East…

That’s much more impactful than being religiously right…in my humble opinion.

image credit: Jews and Arabs Refuse to be Enemies

On Relationships I Think We Over-Think

August 3, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

If there is one area where you might NOT want to take advice from me…it’s relationships.

I tend to suck at them.

But I’ve had a few in my time and the experience of all that has led me to some conclusions.

One of which is that on relationships I think we over-think…most of the time.

I’m primarily talking about the amorous kind.

I read an interesting piece this morning shared by a friend of Srinivas Rao on relationships between men and women.

I read it several times and my take away came down to this…

(it was advice from a woman to a man…by the way)

Don’t give a woman what she wants (or what you think she wants), give her what she needs…

a MAN…

as opposed to a doormat.

OK, I can get on board with that. And I have done the opposite.

I have clamoured for love by catering to a woman’s every whim.

And it does tend NOT to work. Well, perhaps it will for a time, but in the end, usually disaster ensues.

And the person acting the part of doormat generally gets hurt much worse than the person wiping their soiled feet over you, again and again.

So, yes I will agree, men, it’s best we stand our ground.

Stand up for who we are and not allow their (the women, that is) ups and downs take us through a roller-coaster-like crisis of self identification and worth.

I’ve been on that one lately. No fun.

And if it ain’t fun, what’s the point?

Relationships are supposed to enhance our experience of life, not make it a living hell, right?

But then again, are we not over-thinking a bit here?

Of course we need to take care of ourselves emotionally and not sacrifice our mental health for love.

If we don’t take care of ourselves, what good are we to anyone?

But relationships spark usually for very superficial physical attractiveness reasons.

After all, that’s about all you have to go on in the beginning.

And then things get more complicated as we begin to realize that there is a person behind that facade of attractiveness.

And that inner person may not fill up the outer shell that drew us in.

So, what to do?

The problem is that this is not going to happen just sometime…

it will happen every time.

It might take minutes, hours, days, weeks, or years…

but it will happen.

And when it does, what then?

Most of the time we bolt, don’t we? Which is why there is a divorce rate approaching 50%.

Or, we can anal-ize the many prickly nuances of the relationship in a vain attempt to come to some rational conclusions.

The truth of the matter is just this…relationships are damn hard.

Not just some of them…all of them.

I will agree with Srini’s friend (a very attractive lady by the name of Charmaine, by the way) that if being your own man is just not good enough, it’s probably time to say goodbye.

And that unless and until we try that…being our own man, that is…maybe we should stick it out for a while and see what happens.

OK, fine…I am on board with that one.

But being “our own man” isn’t going to cure the fact that relationships are going to get messy, ugly even…

And when they do, what should we do…

We stick with it.

If we have committed to this person…if we “love” this person…I believe that’s what must be done.

And, we continue to give that person the love and respect they deserve, even when we don’t feel like it.

And, believe me, there will be lots of times like that!

That may be what being “a man” in the context of a relationship is really about.

There is a chapter in my eBook, School of Hard Knocks – 10 Lessons Learned, that says just this. That the number one killer of relationships is lack of respect…which I believe signifies a lack of commitment.

I don’t know what being me always is supposed to look like, still figuring that one out…but I do know what disrespect looks and feels like.

I am a simple minded guy and I like to boil things down to simple terms.

You can even call me old-fashioned…just don’t call me old!

And when it comes to relationships, I believe less over-thinking and more commitment and respect, is what’s really needed.

So, want to have a profoundly positive impact on your relationship? Try respect…the rest is mostly just chemical!

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Isolation or Impact?

August 2, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

There’s a lot going on in our world these days.

And not much of it, well, maybe almost none of it, positive.

Ebola, Iraq, Gaza, Ukraine…

and even a refugee crisis developing along the southern U.S. border.

And it seems everyone has an opinion on why these things are happening and what should be done about them.

Even those opinions are generally couched in negative terms.

We desperately need to place blame, don’t we?

And if it’s remotely possible to blame Obama…even better!

But placing blame generally doesn’t solve anything.

I even heard about Donald Trump tweeting that the U.S. health workers who contracted the Ebola virus not be allowed back in the U.S.

…”KEEP THEM OUT OF HERE!,” demands the Donald…

what compassion!

OK, so enough of the negative. Is there any way to put some positive spin on all this?

Without resorting to cliches like…

every day above ground is a good one?

But it is, isn’t it?

Well, not for me…I can almost hear your thoughts out there.

Hey, I could easily agree with you. Lately my life has, well, kinda sucked.

From business to personal relationships, nothing is going too well for me.

But I’m not worrying about falling rockets, drone attacks or deadly bat viruses, so I guess from that standpoint, better than a lot of others these days.

Maybe the right approach to these events is the compassionate one.

Rather than the isolationist one.

Oh sure, I can understand where Trump is coming from, as well as some Israelis calling for a genocidal response to the Gaza problem and the tea-party crowd in the U.S. demanding that the women and children amassing on the border be shipped right back into the jaws of the brutal criminal gangs they are fleeing for their lives.

But those are isolationist reactions…

and it is very hard to have an impact when coming from a standpoint of isolation…

as opposed to compassion.

It was compassion that drove those two health workers to face death caring for patients in West Africa.

It is isolation and fear that motivate Trump to tweet that they not be allowed to come back home and receive care themselves.

One action was motivate by love.

The other by fear.

One motivated by a desire to make an impact.

The other solely a desire for self-preservation.

And an irrational one at that.

I don’t know about you, but I believe everything possible should be done to give those who fought for others to beat the virus the best possible chance of beating it themselves.

That’s compassion.

And compassion always trumps (to pardon a pun) isolation and fear.

I believe compassion and understanding (seeking common ground as my previous post alluded) may be the keys to reversing some of these negative forces that recently have been unleashed in our world.

What do you think?

Who do you think has an attitude of impact…

Trump or those two sick workers?

Isolation or Impact…that’s the question this post poses…

which do you choose?

A little food for thought for you this Saturday morning.

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The Orange Parable

July 30, 2014 by costaricaguy 2 Comments

I once heard the following parable about two stubborn siblings and an orange.

I believe it might just be relevant to what’s going on in parts of OUR world these days.

You see, these two quarrelled about everything and basically treated each other with utter contempt.

Sound familiar?

One day they came upon the last orange that had fallen from the tree in the backyard.

Each ran for it and at the last moment dove to the ground and grasped the orange with all their might.

“It’s mine”, said one….

“No, I got it first, it’s mine”, said the other.

The more powerful and potentially wiser third sibling came along and saw them fighting over the fallen fruit.

“Stop that, you two”, said he.

“But he/she won’t give me my orange”, said the two, in perfect harmony.

“Okay, listen, I have a solution.”

He ran to the kitchen and brought back a knife.

“Hand over the orange”, he demanded.

The two reluctantly did as the bigger brother decreed.

He then proceeded to cut the orange in half and give one of the halves to each, who walked away sullen, but relatively appeased.

The sister, who had wanted the orange for baking, peeled it and tossed away her half of the delicious meat inside to the birds.

The brother, who was hungry and simply wanted to eat, peeled his half, tossed the peelings in the garbage, and proceeded to eat away his half of the meat.

So, both received 50% of what they wanted…

but, could they have received more?

Moral of the orange parable: Stop acting like stubborn children who want it all at the expense of the other and seek common ground.

That may avoid the inevitable end result of getting what you don’t want, or less than you could have.

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Stand Against Hate

July 23, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

I once wrote about respect being a right.

But I don’t believe that hate is a right…

nor is it, ever, right.

Take this once again inflamed and never ending conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians.

Yes, Israel has the right to defend itself.

And equally yes, the Palestinians have a right to be respected as a distinct nation of peoples, free from the grip of Israeli quasi-colonial control.

Neither has the right to hate the other.

And what is this really all about when you get right down to it?

Religion…

Ah, religion…don’t you just love it?

Religion and hate tend to go hand in hand.

We are suppose to hate anyone who doesn’t believe like we do.

Hate them, convert them, or exterminate them.

Religion is one of the few concepts we humans have devised that inspires us to blow each other up with impunity…hell, even blow ourselves up in the process.

I mean, who would do that for, say, the theory of relativity…

even though that one has a lot more empirical evidence to support its basis in fact.

Religion and border protection seem to be the hate “conflagrators” of choice these days.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it once more…

Big proponent of faith I am…

but not of religion.

Nor of borders for that matter.

I have two words that I like to use to describe religion and its influence on us humans…

Impact Blinder!

And right now both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict appear to be blind to the impact of what they are doing to each other and the environment in which their children will grow up.

Religious inspired hate definitely tends to cloud one’s vision of the bigger picture…now doesn’t it?

But I do have faith nevertheless. The following Face Book page helps keep my faith alive…

Jews and Arabs Refuse to be Enemies

Not faith in religion. Faith in the human capacity to bridge religious divides.

Faith in love.

I read a lot these days about how the U.S. needs to “stand with Israel.”

Here’s a novel alternative…

Why not stand for peace?

And stand against hate.

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