Hunting for Validation

I have always prided myself on being a humble guy.

Wait, what’d I just say (write)…??…

“prided” myself on being humble?

What an oxymoron.

The very opening betrays a subtle underlying problem.

The constant yearning, obsession, and need for validation.

And the corresponding and terrifying fear of its counterpart, rejection.

I guess we all have it to one degree or another.

And it is the antithesis of humility.

I am not saying that the appreciation of validation is wrong. It’s perfectly natural to feel that familiar swelling of the ego when earned recognition comes our way.

What I am referring to is the desire for validation that really meddles with life.

That’s the kind that tends to direct where you go, who you meet (and love) and what you do.

It’s a constant hunting for validation out there somewhere.

And that’s a very dangerous safari indeed.

There are lions and tigers and bears out there who will eat you alive with rejection.

And these days I feel as if I have been chewed up and spit out.

So maybe it’s time to stop the insane pursuit.

Like that intense little boy in the superb film, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

He obsessively pursued validation from his father, even after his father was long gone, not knowing all the while that he already possessed it to the nth degree.

And so do we.

I believe realizing that fact and then halting the hunt is the essence of true humility.