My Life in Thirds

As 2014 drew to a close, as well as the 54th year being me, I reflected on my life in thirds…

The first 27 years were marked by a great deal of flailing.

That is, flailing around this or that, trying to figure out who Scott Bowers really is…

an artist?

an athlete?

a drugged out beach bum?

a hard-working, motivated young man on a mission?

That set the course for the next 17 years, which were filled with activity in the pursuit of success, first as a lawyer, then as an entrepreneur.

And I did achieve limited success…

educationally and financially.

At least for fleeting moments.

But then something happened that to this day I can’t quite put a finger on…in terms of the exact reason(s) why…

This “metamorphosis” happened about 10 years ago.

Success, in the capitalistic sense, simply ceased to be a priority for me.

Maybe it’s because I exchanged that desire for another one…the desire to indulge.

So I spent half a decade, or more, doing just that…

Indulging to my heart’s content.

I began to think that maybe there’s a purpose to it all that’s grander than me.

That it really isn’t all about me, myself and I.

This line of thinking has persisted to the point of provoking a crisis in my life that is now demanding decisive action.

So, as I close out 2/3’rds of my life…the first 54 years of it…I question what to make of the next 27 years…

the next, and perhaps final, 3rd.

In that regard, I’ve decided to make the following three vows, which will define the final 3rd of the life of Scott Bowers…

1. I hereby disavow any desire for success in terms of fame, or fortune. I once thought that was my destiny…well, it’s obviously not.
2. I hereby vow to do what is in my power to enhance the quality of the lives I love the most, chiefly my wife, our children, and, when the time comes, our grandchildren.
3. I hereby vow to live my life according to the principles of impact mindfulness, which means being dedicated to my writing and to activism on causes I care deeply about…the environment and social justice.

In many ways I’ve wasted the previous 54 years of my life.

Wasted them by attempting to climb a ladder without a top rung, which also happened to be leaning against the wrong wall.

This blog and the idea for impact mindfulness will play a key role in my future.

I don’t know how exactly…but they must.

I do feel somewhat remorseful about wasting much of my life up until now.

Yet, perhaps I never would’ve come to my current realization were it not for those wasted years.

Were it not for those years, neither would I be the person I am in the present, a person I believe adequately prepared and mentally focused to pursue his vows.

In fact, this is the first time in a very long time that I feel…focused.

So, in that sense, I guess the first 2/3’rds weren’t a waste at all…and really shouldn’t be lamented as such.

They shaped me into a much wiser person. A person who cares about his world, even more than he does about himself.

A world that I would like to leave to others in a better condition than the one I found it in.

Will you hold me accountable to these vows?