Revolutionary Misfit

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On Moving Forward

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On Moving Forward

There are certain facts that we just have to face in this life.

Donald J. Trump is now president of the U.S.A.

My mom is no longer with me.

Those are two that have hit me within the last two weeks like a ton of bricks. Nevertheless, both have become facts of life that I must live with…while moving forward.

It’s an understatement to say that the last two years of my life have been the toughest to date. And the last two weeks the toughest of those last two years.

I’ve always considered myself to be a very optimistic person. But in the face of all this, it’s damn hard to remain that way.

But, really, what are my choices? What are our choices?

Oh sure, we can despair. We can give up hope. We can give up trying to make our lives better…and the world better. We can give up on making an impact. After all, our vote certainly didn’t seem to matter.

However, giving up is not the answer. Not for me…and not for you.

I launched a GoFundMe campaign about two months ago. I’ve revised the description a couple of times, as if words might matter. I’ve always suffered under the illusion that they do.

The bottom line is that even though I am resolutely determined to move forward, I still need a little help in doing so. I can see a glimpse of light, but there’s still a ways to go before I reach it.

I woke up this morning as determined as ever to move forward, despite the uncertainties of my life. I woke up determined to move ahead in spite of Trump’s victory.

It is what my mom would want me to do.

I have many projects and goals I am trying to move forward on…

  • My real estate business – both residential and commercial…
  • My Expat Tours – which are directly connected to my success with real estate…
  • My Vacation Tours – for Costa Rica and Colombia…
  • My Writing – I want to offer my books in written form…
  • Podcasts – I want to start two: one for The Impact Revolution and another for Expat Living…
  • Indigenous Arts and Crafts Sales – a sustainable business I’ve been involved with successfully in the past, which is a great way to have an impact…
  • Hydroponic Gardening – I put this one on the back-burner over the last year while I focused on real estate. That was probably a mistake and I want to reignite and reinvigorate the effort.

Many things on the above list I can move forward on right now and I am doing so. Some things, however, require funds that I just do not have at the moment. That is a major reason for launching this campaign.

I have a clear set of goals for each and I know that I can succeed…with a little help from my friends.

Speaking of help from friends, I wanted to take a moment to thank a few friends who have lent me some light…

  • Chris Palazzari
  • Dianna Adams
  • Teresa Berlin
  • Scott Sherman
  • Ed Flaspoehler
  • Michael Weiner

Most of this light was contributed directly to me, i.e., it does not show up in the official campaign results. But that doesn’t make it one iota less impactful. I want to thank each of you from the very bottom of my heart for what you did for me…for the light you extended to me. You are all a blessing and I will never, ever forget.

I am going to be OK. Our nation will be OK. Our world will be OK. But only if we stick together. Only if we remember that we’re all on this planetary ship together. Only if we put our impact over self-interest. Only if we refuse to be blinded by the insidious and erroneous mindset of us versus them. There is no “them.” There’s really only one Big US.

The truth is that we don’t have to all think alike, politically or otherwise, in order to realize that the best path for moving forward is one of connection and cooperation.

So, I am reaching out, not just for help, but also to extend encouragement. Don’t give up hope. Stay in the fight.

Our world is depending on your impact.

My GoFundMe Campaign

Because we all get by with a little help from our friends.

The Fabric of Society is Torn

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The Fabric of Society is Torn

Most of us have probably had the experience of taking off in an airplane in stormy weather. It’s a bit disconcerting isn’t it?

And just when you have convinced and braced yourself for the ensuing fiery crash, the clouds part and sunshine and blue sky appears. That’s always a very good feeling isn’t it?

Well, right now I’m in the clouds, convinced and braced for the ensuing fiery crash.

Oh for sure, I’ve been through dark clouds before. But, not quite like this.

Not with the experience of my mom passing…something that only happens once in a lifetime…like birth and death.

Not with the experience of seriously not knowing where my next meal will come from.

Not with the experience of failing at just about everything.

And not with the experience of feeling as if the fabric of society is torn…

I’ve never experienced anything like this in my lifetime. I didn’t live through the Civil War, or the Great Depression. Perhaps those tumultuous events were similarly disconcerting. And of course, the 60’s were a decade of societal upheaval. I was a bit too young to really be able to say I “lived through them.”

But the 60’s, in many ways, made us better. Will that be the case…this time?

I don’t know.

We all want to cast blame for all that is happening. And we now have the platform of social media in which to do so in a very public way.

We want to say it’s the fault of the democrats, or the republicans, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, the minions of either, the military-industrial complex, neoliberalism (guilty!), and so on…

But the real truth is that the “one” who’s at fault is…

US.

We are at fault and perhaps the prime reason is our stubborn unwillingness to listen to each other…and really try to understand one another.

You see, people do what they do and think what they think for deeply personal reasons. And that even applies to deplorable mindsets like racism, or sexism.

I’m not implying that we should accept these ways of thinking. The ideas themselves should be roundly condemned. But we shouldn’t be so quick to accuse, judge, and condemn others who we think might harbor them. Rather we should try to understand why.

As Steven Covey wrote long ago in his famous 7 habits book, “seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Taking to Facebook and insulting those who think differently is not the way to mend the fabric of society. And right now the fabric of society is torn and frayed. I believe this hyper-media culture that has formed around us, and that is being technologically propelled to ever more intrusive levels, is only making it worse.

This election could be a turning point, or it could mark the complete unraveling of society as we’ve known it.

It will only be the former if we stop insulting one another on Facebook and Twitter and start trying to understand and cooperate with one another, despite our differences.

As the great English philosopher, Bertrand Russell, once said…

Love is wise, hatred is foolish…

In this world, which is getting more and more connected,
we have to learn to tolerate one another.

We have to learn to put up with the fact that some people say things that we don’t like.

We can only live together in that way. And if we are to live together and not die together…

We must learn the kind of charity and tolerance that is absolutely essential to the continuation of human life on this planet.

Yes, the fabric of society is torn.

But it can be mended…

The question is, will we?

Sorry for my metaphorical mixing in this, admittedly, platitudinal post. But to end it I will say that I’m completely confident that the clouds will part for me personally…the sunshine and blue sky will finally appear…

I can only hope the same clearing will occur for “US.”

image credit: ChantelSchmitt Flickr via Compfight cc

For Mom

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for mom

Here’s another post from the distant past, inspired, in part, as was yesterday’s, by the book…The Road Less Traveled…

OK, I’ll admit…at the time I wrote it, I was having some “love” issues…

I seem to be writing a lot on this topic of love, relationships, and, you know, really yucky stuff. I promise I’ll move on soon, but humor me, please, for a moment, whilst I soothe my sore ego.

In Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled (which I recommend for anyone with problems upstairs, which pretty much means everyone, including YOU), he dispels some myths about the nature of true love.

For Peck, it all comes down to extending oneself emotionally, physically, financially and in all others ways, for the spiritual growth of another human being.

I’ve always thought of true love as being unconditional. In other words, if you claim to love someone, but only extend that love if they behave in certain ways, that’s just not love.

Love in return for performance?

Does that really sound correct to you?

I will love you as long as you buy me things, take me places, and please me in the ways I demand. The emphasis always remaining me, me, me…

Doesn’t that sound more like…self-love?

However, I’m afraid many people have that kind of idea about love. As soon as the performance wains, probably due to exhaustion, their “love” for the other dries up…

and they move on to the next ego-feeding source.

Now, there are some good models of unconditional love, in real life, as well as in religious mythology.

However, the best example that I can think of is a mother’s love, specifically my mother’s love.

And trust me on this, it ain’t easy being my mother! Tweet it Out!

Granted, that’s a different kind of love than the romantic type. But only in certain respects.

In keeping with Peck’s definition, we should love our partners with that same brand of unconditional love.

We should extend ourselves even when nothing flows back our way in return.

My mother does that on a consistent basis. And not just for me, but for most everyone.

Sometimes I believe she feels a bit exhausted. I can see it in her face, or hear it in her voice, but she keeps on extending nonetheless.

Why?

Because she has real love in her heart. She doesn’t expect, nor demand, a certain level of performance in return.

Now, I’m sure she’d prefer to see a bit of it, i.e., performance, if she had her druthers, but disappointment in regards to such wishful thinking is never a condition to her extending.

I tend to take for granted how fortunate I am to have someone who loves me in this way. You ever do that? Don’t!

Hence this post is for mom, and dedicated to her shining example of unconditional love.

Save for my children, no human being has ever loved me like that…

not even close.

I never have to worry that if I mess up, really bad, she will stop loving me. If that were the case, well, I don’t believe she’d still be answering my phone calls.

But she does and she’s there for me when I need her, always.

I know she reads my drivel from time to time, so, mom, if you happen to catch this one…

thanks and I love you.

post update: my mom passed away October 31, 2016…she will forever be the greatest model of unconditional love that I’ve known...

Thinking with A Big Head

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donald trump and the big head

This is a three year old post that, due to recent events, I thought I’d resurrect…

Are you a “successful” person?

I’ve had a few successes in my life. I guess the fact that I’m still here after 53 years is, in many respects, a success.

But I’ve also experienced this phenomenon throughout my life that generally arises on the heels of success…

Failure!

Be it moral, financial, colossally stupid-ital, or otherwise.

Why is that?

And it doesn’t seem to be an occurrence unique to me.

Can you identify?

Here are a few notable for instances…

The iconic music diva. She may have come out of nowhere to achieve fame and fortune. But once it arrives she morphs into a super-sized bitch of epic proportions.

The child star. A ironic example because even though the head hasn’t developed enough to handle the success (so they pay others to do that for them), they tend to implode from big-headed-ness.

The rock-star politician. Need I name names? They may have gotten into it as a champion of the people, but once they achieve talk-show celebrity fame…it all tends to become about something different…about them. “The people” just don’t matter that much anymore.

The tele-evangelist. They engage in fiery rhetoric encouraging us to be like Jesus, but behind the scenes their actions are better characterized by Satan than the Son of God.

Success is like air to the ego…it inflates.

Sometimes to the point of a spectacular and very public bursting.

All too often an inflated ego gives rise to this elitist mindset that somehow we are different. That we have been touched with greatness.

Well, “being touched” has a more negative connotation that might better explain the reality of the situation.

That is, success can indeed lead to a state of temporary insanity.

And, if you’re not careful, that can lead to a more permanent condition of derangement.

It happens again and again with so-called celebrities. But it also happens on a smaller scale with you and with me.

I know I’ve experienced it. In fact, I recently posted about a notable success I once had that landed a big payday.

And you know what? Almost immediately thereafter I blew it…my life literally imploded from my own big-headed-ness.

I made virtually every mistake in the book and failed from almost every perspective possible.

The truth of the matter is that success does not regenerate or transform who we are into something greater and grander.

We remain the same potential putz of infinite negative possibility.

That is, success never makes us immune from following it with something really dumb.

In fact, it often dramatically enhances the probability of that occurring.

If we’re not careful.

From an observational standpoint, it appears that those driven towards success for self-centered reasons tend to be more susceptible to the phenomenon.

While those who are driven by the potential for impact tend to stay more ego deflated.

It’s kind of like the difference between a Blake Mycoskie (maker/giver of shoes, billions of them) and a Donald Trump (billionaire/real estate mogul/loud-mouthed celebrity clown).

Who would you rather emulate?

It really comes down to motive…your why.

And that’s in large part what this blog is all about.

The moral of the story…

don’t let success go to your head…

because in reality, it’s still just a stupid head.

Thinking with the big head is better than its opposite. Thinking with A Big Head can get you into even more trouble. Tweet it Out!

image credit: Matt Woitunski via Compfight cc

On Asking for Help

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on-asking-for-help

Isn’t it true that we loathe asking for help? On the flip side, we generally don’t like being asked either, now do we?

Why is that?

I believe it’s because we tend to equate the act of asking for help with some form of weakness, or helplessness. We are conditioned by our American Judeo-Christian upbringing to cling to the notion that “god helps those who help themselves.” That kind of puts it all on him (god) and let’s the rest of us off the hook, doesn’t it?

We are also conditioned by our rugged individualism, the sine qua non of the American “can-do” spirit, to never ask for help and to look down upon, or judge, those who do.

But, whether we want to admit it or not, we all ask for help, routinely, in one way or another.

Even if you’re a super successful business person, like, say, Donald Trump, (I know his “success” is arguable, but just put that aside for a moment), you routinely ask for help. Donald has sought help from banks and investors, the essential capitalistic act of using other people’s money to achieve one’s dreams. He sought help from the American legal system when he was unable to pay back those loans and had to declare bankruptcy, multiple times. He now seeks help in the form of the required votes to carry him to victory in the 2016 presidential election. And, like many billionaires, he asks you and me for help in picking up the tax bill he refuses to pay with his purported billions.

And Donald is no different than any other “successful” business person out there…they’re all beggars when it comes right down to it.

A business owner who asks for your patronage is, in a real sense, asking for “help.” Maybe not in the quid pro quo received in exchange for your buck, but the act of patronage itself, when there are so many other options you could choose instead, is certainly a form of help.

Recently I launched a GoFundMe campaign. Doing so was met with much trepidation on my part. I was very anxious about being judged about asking for help, actually feeling shameful for doing so.

We really shouldn’t feel ashamed about asking for help. It’s an essential human act of connection. It connects us with others. It sparks feelings of gratitude on the part of the helper and the helped. Gratitude for the opportunity to have a positive impact on a fellow human, gratitude for the feeling of being cared for, and of not being alone in this sometimes harsh world. Gratitude is a positive human emotion, one of the best actually.

Why is it that we are much more prone to give help to causes (or people) removed from us than we are to those who are closer to us in some intimate way? Same goes with asking for help. We feel much more stressed and shameful about asking a family member or friend for help, than we do about asking strangers. I know I do.

In the Latino community family is everything. My Colombian wife is a good example as she will literally give the shoes off her feet (and she really loves her shoes) if anyone in her family is in need…without a moment’s hesitation. And it doesn’t matter to her what impact that act might have on her own well-being. She is really a wonderful lady in that regard. One of the many reasons I love her so dearly.

But Americans, at least from my perspective, are often more reticent to relinquish “hard-earned” property to help a family member, or a friend. Maybe that’s because the idea of private property ownership is much more fundamental to the American sense of well-being than it is in Latin America.

Nevertheless, asking for help, as well as giving it, connects us as humans. I believe that’s a very positive thing. Despite what Ayn Rand might say, altruism connects individuals and a connected society is a more stable, successful and fulfilled one than the alternative, where each individual functions as an island to him or herself. The idea being to accumulate as much on one’s island as possible, while erecting signs that warn others against trespassing for favors.

The truth is no one’s an island. It really does take a village.

Asking for help sparks a deflation of ego. That’s another positive result one receives from engaging in the act, in addition to the gratitude one feels from receiving help.

Bottom line: We all need help and we all ask for help…in different ways.

I believe that asking for help should not be viewed as a shameful act.

And I believe that giving it should be viewed as a wonderful opportunity to make an impact.

Asking for and giving help is a win win proposition. It provides verification for the existence of the Big US.

These crowdsourcing platforms that are now available provide wonderful opportunities to ask for help…from friends and family, as well as complete strangers…and to give it. In that regard, I view them as platforms of connection and impact. Pretty cool stuff!

You can check out my campaign by clicking the widget below…

and no, I’m not ashamed for asking…

Recently I launched my Crowdsource Campaign, dubbed Looking for Light in a Dark Tunnel. That’s perhaps too gloomy a metaphor for the state of my life right now. Even though it feels like a “tunnel”, I know it really isn’t at all. There’s plenty of light all around me. I’m surrounded by the natural beauty of Costa Rica and by the unconditional love of friends and family. I am imbued with a strong sense of direction and determination. I’m motivated. I’m taking action. The results will come. The pot will boil.

You see, I’m not failing. I’m simmering.

If you’d consider helping me by turning the heat up a little, please check out my Campaign Widget below.

I’ll be writing about my progress in the coming weeks and months. I hope that my story can be an inspiration that might help you simmer with joy as you patiently wait for your pot to boil.

Check out the rewards section to see my various expressions of gratitude for your gracious gift of light.

On Feeling Judgment

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On Feeling Judgement

One thing humans definitely excel at, in comparison to other species, is the art and act of judgment. We’re really good at judging one another, aren’t we?

Now, this post is on feeling judgment and does not address in any way the act of earning judgment. We all do that. We all deserve to be judged. Our great religions tell us that very clearly. But they also warn us against being the one who judges.

Of course, the gravest consequence of feeling judgment is guilt. That’s another thing humans are very adept at, again, in comparison to other species. And that is suffering from the pains of guilt…usually as a result of feeling judgment.

My own experience, especially these days, is that I feel a lot of judgment. And, certainly, I’ve earned it. But, again, the universal human activity of earning judgment is not relevant to this discussion.

I mean, it’s very difficult to get through an entire day without earning judgment for something, right?

What do I feel judgment for? Well, here are a few examples that quickly come to mind…

I feel judgment for being in Costa Rica and unable to visit my ailing mother.

I feel judgment for being separated from my children.

I feel judgment for economic failure.

I feel judgment for moral failure.

I feel judgment for adopting a political and philosophical mindset that is often at odds with those I love.

Judgment can be crushing. We deeply wound one another with this brutal act. And why do we do that? If we indeed all deserve judgment, then why do we also feel the self-righteous need to engage in the act of judging others?

I believe the act of judgment is essentially one of separation. We judge others in order to place distance between ourselves and them. It makes us feel superior to do so. And our egos feed off that feeling of superiority.

The U.S. is a country where judgment is almost a way of life. We judge others on account of their political affiliation. We judge them according to their race, religion, or sexual orientation. We certainly are fond of judging folks based on their socio-economic status.

I believe that’s why the poor in the U.S. in some ways have it worse than the poor in other countries, like Costa Rica, for instance. Here you really aren’t judged by the make and model of the car you drive, or even if you have a car at all. But in the U.S., if you’re poor, you are made to feel judged. You are made to feel like a second-class citizen.

Of course, the ultimate acts of judgment are those which take place in our criminal courts. Those who are so judged then have to endure the most extreme separation from society, as they are locked behind concrete walls and steel bars. And then when they are finally allowed out of their cages, they are judged as unequal citizens, without the right to engage in society as normal non-felonized human beings.

I’m writing this post on feeling judgment today because it really sucks. As I mentioned, I’m on the receiving end of a ton of it these days, so I write from my own experience.

The act of judging another human being, even one as worthy of judgment as yours truly, does not really elevate the judge to a higher human status than that of the judged. You see, we all deserve to be judged in one way or another. None of us are perfect…far from it.

So, what do you think gives you the right to judge, other than this false feeling of superiority?

Maybe there’s a reason the bible has strong admonitions against judgment, where it says…

Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

Matthew 7:1

Christ himself, whom the Christian religion claims is really the only one worthy of carrying out judgment, since he alone is without sin, came not as a judge, but as a compassionate redeemer. He did not try to separate himself from the judgment-worthy. He embraced them.

I believe compassion is a more effective tool for rehabilitation than judgment. It seems I’m fairly alone in that sentiment, but I truly believe it nonetheless.

I believe we need to stop being quick to judge and separate and start being more prone to forgive and connect. Tweet it Out!

What do you think?

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