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Portland Rains

October 22, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

Portland Rains

There are some things I love about Portland. I love the coffee houses. I love the craft beer. I love the art. I love all the hippies and weirdos. Yesterday, I got a little taste of the natural side of Portland…loved it.

But, you know what?

These Portland rains don’t show up anywhere on that lovely list.

I tend to take pride in being a nature lover, but my reluctance to even step outside today is revealing me a bit of a fraud.

After all, what’s more natural than rain?

I finally did make it out to the coffee house where I snapped the photo above and where I sit writing this fine piece of predominantly pointless prose.

I don’t normally allow myself to be hermitized by rain. It does fall in Costa Rica quite frequently.

Maybe it’s because I’m here with virtually no money, relying on the good graces of couch surfing hosts to keep me dry at night…and coffee houses like this one to do the daily trick.

It’s hard to feel affectionate toward “the elements” when circumstances of your own choosing force you to be exposed to them.

Damn it, I got things I want to do, places I want to go, stuff I want to see, and the rain, well, it just interferes.

If you let it.

We allow a lot of things to interfere, now don’t we?

The natural phenomenon that’s rain doesn’t pay a hipster’s heed to our plans. It just falls squarely upon them…without the slightest tinge of remorse.

We live in a harsh and cruel world like that. In fact, nothing really pays heed to our plans, if you think about it…

Maybe that’s why Steinbeck once wrote that…

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

Well, he actually stole that line from the poem To a Mouse, by Robert Burns of Scotland.

Whether it’s the weather, time, circumstances, happenstances, people, problems, or our own peculiarities…

it seems the making of a plan is part in parcel of the perpetuation of a failure.

I’m here on a mission. My mission is to hatch my plan of moving, repatriating, to this fine city of Portland, Oregon.

This place of hippies and hipsters, voodoo doughnut dolls and wads of weirdness lurking around every corner.

And the rain…lots of rain.

I’ve already had at least one Portlander give me that cockeyed, are you freaking nuts look, as soon as I mentioned that I wanted to move from there to here.

That’s OK. I’ve learned to plan to prepare for failure. And I’ve had a ton of practice.

I know nothing about this move will be easy.

And this rain has me waffling from absurd confidence to flashes of abject fear, as I consider how to do relatively simple things like find a place to live and a way to pay for it.

I keep having these visions of ending up a lowly part of the homeless subculture that openly exists here.

Portland might be the most liberal city in the U.S.

But it still has a harsh climate, as I’m sure any of those guys would attest.

And it’ll chew this Costa Rica Guy up and spit him out faster than you can say…

revolutionary misfit.

Plans are an inconvenience we humans just have to put up with. It’s hard to get very far in this life without them. And there’s a never ending supply of them.

I guess, in that sense, they could be considered a renewable resource…

like Portland rains.

Filed Under: Removing Impact Blinders Tagged With: Portland, removing impact blinders

The Portland Twinkles

October 18, 2014 by costaricaguy 1 Comment

Portland twinkies

OK, I’ve begun to notice something about these Portlanders…

they seem, for the most part, to have twinkles in their eyes.

I was walking down the street this morning in search of somewhere to breakfast that had the “tres B’s”, as we like to say in Costa Rica…

that is, bueno, bonito y barato (or, good, pretty and cheap).

Along the way I encountered a young girl, riding a skateboard and draped in a rather ornate quilt.

There was another person walking ahead of me, a female. And when the young girl passed she stopped and asked for something…I assume money.

“I don’t give money for meth!”, was the harsh reply.

The young girl shot back with a few choice words and then off she went.

It was bizarre.

I mean, I’ve seen my share of panhandlers…we have them in Costa Rica and I’m aware that they do exist in all large cities…

but skateboarding while draped in an ornate quilt?

Perhaps, only in Portland.

I’ve never seen the show Portlandia. My daughter tells me I must. Apparently it’s a parody of the outlandish behavior that this town has become famous for.

OK, starting to understand all that.

As I write this, sitting in the hostel, someone is singing at the top of their lungs.

Thankfully she has a relatively nice voice…the Portland twinkles.

I walked down the street earlier this evening to a place I was told had some good and cheap eating establishments. I passed a very large guy with long stringy hair. One could’ve easily mistaken him, with his immense size and downbeat demeanour, for an unmasked luchador of the World Wrestling Federation.

He looked up and asked me nonchalantly, “hey man, can you spare some change?” I instinctively gave him the little I had.

When I walked back in the other direction, I got precisely the same, “hey man, can you spare some change?”

“But, I already gave”, I replied. “Oh yea man, thanks!”

Once again, the Portland twinkles.

I’ve long had a bit of the twinkle myself. I mean it’s not the kind that buys me wide berths from passers by on the sidewalk…

but it does make people wonder, especially members of my family who think I’m completely and utterly nuts (like my mom).

In preparation for my trip I did some research, including a YouTube video that asked random people on the streets of downtown Portland why outsiders might think their town is, well, weird.

I especially liked the answer of one young pierced and tattooed hipster….

“You wanna know why Portland is weird, man…because of ME, that’s why!”

A tad egoistical, but he just might be right…that is, because of him and a lot of other free spirited twinklers like him.

Now, you might think all this weirdness would dissuade me from repatriating to a place like Portland…

Well, speaking of weird, have you been to San Jose, Costa Rica?

No, on the contrary, it’s the weirdness that draws me.

Because a place inhabited with folks without those glorious twinkles, is a place too full of loathing, and not nearly enough losing…

Remember, as my last post alluded, we must lose it, in order to find it…

and right now, I’m looking.

I believe the vast majority of Portlanders are as well.

In that sense, they’re “my kind of people.”

Filed Under: Removing Impact Blinders Tagged With: Portland, Portlanders, removing impact binders

An Exercise in Self-Losing

October 17, 2014 by costaricaguy 1 Comment

An Exercise in Self-Loosing

Most of us…wait, all of us…think too highly of ourselves.

Well, don’t we?

I’m currently on a cross country exploration (with “country” signifying the U.S.A.).

What am I exploring?

The idea of potential repatriation, but perhaps a better explanation is that it’s a journey, or an exercise in self-losing.

Not self-loathing, mind you…as I’ve already done more than my fair share of that.

Right now I’m in Portland.

I’ve heard a lot of nice things about Portland…that there are a slew of nut jobs, sort of like me, in Portland.

I just debarked from Amtrak yesterday afternoon, so the jury is definitely still out. Looks nice enough.

I haven’t even been to Voodoo Doughnut, yet. Oh, yea, I’m headed there today!

My stay in Portland will be partly in a hostel and partly couch surfing in homes of real people. I’ve never done anything like that.

One thing I quickly noticed here, in Portland, as well as the U.S. in general (also visited New York!), is that people really don’t care. Back in Costa Rica I was “the gringo.” Here I’m just another schmuck who’s arrived on the scene…not really welcome to anyone’s party.

And that’s OK. In fact, that’s good for me.

You see, I’m trying to figure out exactly who the fuck I am…

and where I belong.

But those very thoughts betray a psychological problem we all face.

We think we’re someone, when we’re not.

Our regularly thinking such colossal BS compels us to live guarded lives. We guard our egos as our most prized of possessions. In fact, a lot of the other shit that we guard is really just there to prop up that one highly valued (in our own mind) asset…the ego, or the self…the one we think is the sine quo non of our very existence.

Isn’t it true?

Bob Dylan once wrote that “when you ain’t got nothing, you got nothing to lose.”

Well, I’m almost there and it feels like a mixture of panic and bliss…with moments of each fading in and out.

I believe the ego, or the hallucinatory thought of a self worthy of guarding, gets in the way of our impacting the world in ways that, well, the world needs.

We need each other…not a bunch of selves running around, frantically trying to prove how worthy they are of the admiration of everyone else.

The “mine is bigger than yours” mentality that tends to pervade western, developed, cultural consciousness.

An exercise in self-losing, hopefully, will at least nudge me further along the path of letting go of these delusional ideas, which I still harbour to a lesser extent than in my past…

but that linger on nonetheless.

We’ll just have to see how much progress I can really make, as the self will only go kicking and screaming!

The moral of the post: if you have to think, think highly of others and stop thinking of self, or ego, because in reality, it doesn’t even exist…

Also, try not thinking at all from time to time…it’s actually quite refreshing.

I’ll be blogging a lot about my journey…

stay tuned!

Filed Under: Removing Impact Blinders Tagged With: Bob Dylan, removing impact blinders

Lives of Quiet Desperation

October 12, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

Quiet Desperation

The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.

Henry David Thoreau

I took the train yesterday from Columbia, S.C. to New York City to visit my daughter.

It’s also the first leg of my crazy adventure in potential repatriation.

Next stop, Portland, Oregon…a destination I will also reach by train…a very long train.

All these train rides give a person like me a dangerously large amount of time to think.

Along the way I finished a book entitled Waking Up by Sam Harris, the best-selling author, atheist philosopher, and neuroscientist.

It’s one of those books that I’ll probably need to re-read in order to really understand.

But what I got from the initial reading is that there really isn’t a little man sitting inside my head and peering out at the world, whispering to me about what really is and isn’t.

He seems real enough…after all, I can hear him. He hardly ever shuts up.

In other words, we’re conditioned, or brain-washed, by that little fucker to the point where it’s virtually impossible to know, or to be consciously aware, of the fact that I am just thinking.

The little man is constantly telling me that I’m bored, or hot, or cold, or uncomfortable, or pissed off, or this, or that…

Harris, on the other hand, tells me that this is really all an allusion.

That what’s really real, that the ONLY THING that’s really real, is consciousness…

and all the rest of it, all those constant thoughts, are just transient incidents floating by on that stream.

As I was riding the train and reading, Harris suggested an analogistic exercise.

He told me to look out the window and see.

I did…it was quite nice as we were passing a beautiful forest somewhere in Virginia, I think.

Then he told me to look closer…I did and a faint image of me appeared.

Then he said, look beyond that image. I did and it disappeared.

The point?…

That upon closer examination, the separate or dualistic “I” really isn’t there at all.

What’s there is my consciousness…that’s it.

So what, you might be asking.

After I read that I looked around and saw that my fellow passengers were busily following the instructions of that little man.

Most of them frantically fingering the keyboards of their mobile devices (like I am right now)…

in the desperate attempt to fight off the boredom of a 15 hour train ride.

But if we ignore that little man, perhaps boredom doesn’t exist either.

If we ignore that little man, perhaps the reason for much of the pain and suffering that we experience in our world might disappear as well.

And ignoring him (or her…I don’t mean to appear sexist) makes perfectly good sense, owing to the fact…

that she’s not even there!

She’s a product of the brain’s unlimited capacity to imagine, or conjure up, all kinds of shit that isn’t really there.

Much of that due to the amygdala, the part of the brain that developed early on, in order to help us run away from saber-tooth tigers desiring to have our ancestors for lunch.

Harris suggests that quieting that little man, via some practice of meditation, is the key to a real experience of life…

of conscious life.

And to the disappearance of the stuff that makes us miserable…

and at times, dangerous.

The cure for Thoreau’s observation that the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation?

Stop obeying the often conflicting instructions of that non-existent little blabber-mouth living inside your head.

image credit: desermeaux.christy via Compfight cc

Filed Under: Removing Impact Blinders Tagged With: Henry David Thoreau, removing impact blinders, Sam Harris, Waking Up

The Proverbial House of Cards

October 8, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

the proverbial house of cards

My last post, as well as others, may have alluded to some hostility I feel towards religion. I don’t really feel “hostile” towards it…

just altogether fed up with it.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

In the video below, Bill O’Reilly tells Richard Dawkins that because science cannot yet explain “everything”, Bill’s “throwing in with Jesus.”

In what sense, Mr. O’Reilly?

In the sense of your boisterous and blustering American bravado and exceptionalism that raises the red, white and blue, along with its wars and capitalism run amok, as idols to be worshipped and praised as if they were stamped with the approval of the man, Jesus, himself?

Isn’t that what you, and the network that brings your brand of “religion” into millions of homes every evening, are all about?

Certainly seems so to me…

But the Jesus that I’m familiar with, the one that said “blessed are the meek”, I don’t believe that one would approve.

I don’t believe he would want to “throw in” with you at all.

He might even tell you to lower your arrogant voice and listen to what your guests have to say, for a change.

What Mr. Dawkins was trying to tell you is that your religion may rest on a foundation that is the proverbial house of cards.

Consider that the christian idea of Jesus as god incarnate, who came to rescue us from our sins via his atoning death…

that entire idea is based on the concept of original sin as presented by the book of Genesis in the Old Testament.

Now, I know that “thinking” christians like yourself, desire to pick and choose what parts of the bible you want to accept as fact and what parts you dismiss as allegory.

But it’s hard, no impossible, to dismiss the story of original sin as allegory.

After all, everything that comes after it, including the need for Jesus’ very existence, is based directly on it.

And if it is “allegory”, then allegory of what exactly?

That man (and I guess we should include woman as well) is borne sinful…i.e., sin is built into his genes, and therefore he deserves punishment and is in dire need of atonement?

That’s just the way god set it all up?

Well, that doesn’t paint a very pleasant portrait of god, now does it?

That he designed us in such a way that he would have to sacrifice his son (who was actually, ah, him)  in order to avoid the need to punish us with eternal death?

Sort of a planned obsolescence?

That tends to portray god as less intelligent designer and more demented psychopath, doesn’t it?

The concept of original sin requires, by its very nature, some place from which that sin in fact originated…

Doesn’t it?

And the bible clearly tells us that place is with Adam…the first created human.

But the problem is that his very existence is refuted by everything we know from science.

In short, it simply never happened.

So, everything else that follows, including the story of Jesus’ atoning death, is really…unnecessary.

That’s not to say Jesus wasn’t a real person who walked the earth and was crucified for insurrection by the Romans over 2,000 years ago.

And that his reported words give rise to one of the greatest moral philosophies of our time…and one that Bill O’Reilly seems not to have a clue about.

No, that we’re pretty sure of based on historic fact.

But the rest of it, sort of folds under the weight of it’s own ridiculousness.

Dawkins is hostile towards religion because he believes it impedes intellectual growth.

In that sense, it is a barrier to the continued evolutionary progress that he quite “religiously” believes in.

I, on the other hand, just believe that it is a blinder…

an impact blinder.

That it too often serves as a mental barrier against taking action that will positively impact humanity on a scale wider than simply tithing to your local church, or trying to convince others to believe the craziness that you do.

And that’s even more the case with the warped sense of “patriotic religion” to which Bill O’Reilly obviously subscribes.

image credit: undereachsnare92 via Compfight cc

Filed Under: Removing Impact Blinders Tagged With: removing impact blinders, Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

The Delightful Folly of Fools

September 26, 2014 by costaricaguy Leave a Comment

fool's gold

And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

Jesus in Matthew 5:22

“Foolishness” comes in many sizes, shapes and colors…

Chris Guillebeau took ten years to accomplish the foolish quest of visiting every nation on earth…

Felix Baumgartner rides a capsule strapped to a balloon to the edge of space and then, foolishly, jumps…

Giovanni di Pietro di Bernardone (aka, Saint Francis of Assisi) strips in the public square and renounces the “worldly life”…

Ernesto “Che” Guevara joins a misfit band of Cuban revolutionaries under the leadership of Fidel Castro, taking off in a leaky boat from Mexico, bound for Cuba with the foolish idea of taking control of the island from a ruthless, U.S. backed, dictator…

Christopher Johnson McCandless donates all the money saved for law school, burns the cash left in his pocket, and sets off with a backpack for the Alaskan wilderness to “find himself”…

John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the 35th President of the U.S., makes a foolish vow on behalf of a nation of “landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth by the end of the decade.”

It’s easy to call someone who is doing something you don’t agree with, or you don’t understand, a fool.

From the perspective of the audience, the onlookers, the “peanut gallery”, that’s exactly how you might appear…

foolish.

But the truth is, nothing really beautiful would ever happen in this world if it weren’t for the foolish.

Maybe that’s the reason for Jesus’ strong admonishment against calling someone a fool.

It’s of course foolish, in the eyes of the world, for one person to think him or herself capable of greatness.

For some reason, perhaps some evil reason, the consensus will always be against such notions.

“Who are you to think…!” is usually what you’ll get if you divulge your dreams of divine inspiration.

But those who achieve noteworthy things, remarkable things, are people who plunged ahead in spite of being called a fool.

In fact, they were perhaps delighted to be so called.

Anyone who ever thought themselves capable of spilling ideas onto paper that might one day inspire a generation is certainly at first a fool…

and then later, a Pulitzer prize winner and legend of literary exploit.

But no one ever accomplished such feats without initially exposing themselves to being ridiculed as a fool.

Think about it.

Don’t be afraid of being a fool, or being called a fool.

Cherish it and act accordingly.

Because the world is in need of less status quo stagnation and more of the exploits and accomplishments that flow from the delightful folly of fools.

Sometimes, often times, it’s the foolish things that bring meaning to a seemingly meaningless life.

Suffering fools gladly is a great lesson in humility and patience…

But suffering gladly as a fool is a requirement for many impact-full endeavors.

image credit: cogdogblog via Compfight cc

Filed Under: Removing Impact Blinders Tagged With: removing impact blinders

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